i have been engaged in the best email exchange of my life with a friend from yore. we had lost touch for quite some time and became reunited via one of those ever-popular social networking sites. and somehow, although completely divinely appointed, we've been laying out the big questions of our lives to each other, focusing on the scripture we've been camping in over the past few weeks, and stringing together thoughts that seem to ramble into the depths...but ramblings that also needed to be produced and pondered over.
it's been grand.
one God-sized idea we've been stumbling through: the idea of coming to the end of ourselves...and to the beginning of Him...and how the feeling of unraveling is really a call to Him...and how it is terrifying...and beautiful.
it's been a tough season in my walk with Him. i am not afraid to admit that. in fact, i think i need to admit this truth if i am to truly glean the refining that all of this is bringing to my life. the word that continually comes to mind when i am praying, falling asleep, or walking among the fallen leaves is wait.
of course, i am not sure what exactly i am waiting for...and for once, i am content in this season.
i have finally settled into my job. i feel as though i have a place among the halls of my school. i have found several kindred spirits among the other faculty and i see my purpose. i am learning to walk in it.
i see change all around me...not only in my life, but in the lives of those closest to me. and i find myself praising God for His divine orchestration of each shift.
on that note, i am learning to praise God for what He is doing...not just spending my time with Him asking FOR something...and that distinction has made a profound difference in my frame of reference. i am trying not to see Him as a mere means to an end...something greater than an answer/problem-solver to all of my dilemmas. and while i still may lay my petitions before Him (i.e. healing for my stomach), i am beginning to praise Him FOR the pain. crazy? i don't think so.
"ice breaks many a branch, and so i see a great many persons bowed down and crushed by their afflictions. but now and then i meet one that sings in affliction, and then i thank God for my own sake as well as his." - henry ward beecher
may i be one who sings.
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