i've had too much confirmation over the past few weeks that a return to my blog would be a good thing. so, here i am. truth be told, i've missed it.
so much has happened in the past YEAR that it's difficult to know where to begin. the nitty-gritty details: i survived my first official year of teaching! i believe it went well - it was damn hard (sorry, there's no other way to describe it) - but i finished the year strong. ultimately, i do love what i do. i'm not so sure i love the paperwork involved with exceptional education, but a quick hug from a "tough" 8th grade boy makes all of that wonderfully melt away.
charlie and i are still rockin' it out in our apartment. i look around sometimes and praise God for His tangible blessings, especially charlie. his presence has been absolutely perfect, particularly when i am not feeling well...which leads to the next detail...
my gastroparesis has calmed down quite a bit (hallelujah!). this summer has produced many "am i on my way to healing?" thoughts - there are still bumps in the road, but i haven't been so gentle with it - my bad, yo (sometimes a girl just wants some fresh vegetables/fruit!). all in all, i feel good. i've committed to working out regularly (and while that has been a challenge, too) i feel/see the fruits of my labor and i thank God that i am able to rock out the treadmill. my next physical challenge: the Ukrops 8K in november - walking, not running. i'm not THAT crazy. wooohooooo.
this has been a spiritually challenging year. it would be fair to say that my heart has taken a beating. it is healing, though - it's just a slower, longer process than i would have guessed. God has done a great work to show me my worth. i am learning to walk in His words/promises/love. i have taken some fairly drastic steps to fight for my worth. i recently began a study on believing God - we are all very quick to say that we believe IN God, but do we really believe HIM - do we believe His Word, what He says to us, even what He shows us? why do we so often dismiss His work just because there is no tangible evidence?
Hebrews says that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (11:1). so, why do i beg God for evidence of His work in my life? as my dear friend said recently, "if there were evidence, there would be no faith." and truly, His work is made manifest everyday - but do i open my eyes to see it?
i am learning that the testing of my faith develops perseverance. i want to be unwaivering in what i believe - in the good i believe has been promised to me.
one of my favorite musicians is the folk artist, william fitzsimmons. i stumbled across his song "goodmorning" and delighted in the following lyrics:
moonlight will fall
winter will end
harvest will come
your heart will mend
goodmorning
goodmorning
you will find love...
it was a fantastic reminder that God gives us seasons for a specific purpose - and that seasons will end - and there is ultimately something good on the other side.
so, while my heart may hurt while this season's sun sets and rises, i am confident that not-too-long-from-now, it will be bursting with joy.
and that, my friends, is a great promise of faith.
