this time of year, the same question will inevitably surface...causing a mix of emotions (some good, some not-so-pleasant) and people walk away feeling a) guilty ...b) proud of themselves...or c) confused.
the question?
what are you giving up for lent?
i myself am "guilty" of asking that question. i believe i am going to stop...
invariably, the answers are never quick and easy. they are always loaded with baggage...most often served up with a side of guilt. i think we have lost the point somewhere along the way. someone will say that they are giving up sweets or soda or french fries...and this is often said with sadness...and then perhaps a confession of the ways they have already "failed" at this mission just a few days into the lenten season.
or there is always the person who "gives something up"...but it is of no real consequence to his or her daily life...thus, it is not hard to abstain from these desires...and they go about patting themselves on the back for persevering through 40 days without ever "slipping" and giving in to the temptations of this world.
while i am not exactly sure where i stand on the issue of lent, i do know that these forty days have become skewed...legalistic...self-focused.
i see the purpose in fasting. i believe in it. i know fasting is biblical...and that Jesus did so Himself. i have delighted (hungered?) in this process myself from time to time. i see the repentance that springs forth from a concentrated period focused on God and His purposes or presence in our lives. i see how these forty days are for the preparation of our celebration of Calvary and what was done on our behalf one Friday afternoon.
i don't understand the guilt associated with this practice. i don't understand how it has become so manufactured and rule-driven. i don't understand how we lost sight of the Center of it all...
perhaps this season, i will offer a challenge: let us remove the focus from ourselves and what we can/cannot do or should/should not do...and let us lift our eyes to Jesus in hopeful anticipation of glorifying God with thankful hearts for what He did for us on that Cross. let us prepare ourselves to fall before the Throne, covered in grace and an unconditional love that we may never fully understand this side of Heaven...and may we use these forty days to quiet ourselves so that we may hear Him whisper "today you will be with me in paradise..."
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
oh, the randomness...
i feel as though sometimes my life is a series of incredibly entertaining events. oftentimes there is someone else to experience these bizarre moments with me. most times i am left to enjoy these little plot twists alone with a smile on my face.
for example...
i take the bus to campus most days. the bus is my favorite place to people-watch. sometimes i am listening to music. sometimes i enjoy the silence of it all. one day, i was sitting across from a man who looked OK. nothing odd or out of place. he had a backpack beside him and he was watching the moving scenery outside. all of a sudden, he pulls a tennis ball from out of his bag. he holds it gingerly in his hands...and begins to talk to it...nay, he begins to yell at this little yellow object. i am listening to music on this day, so i reach into my pocket and pause the noise in an effort to better hear this tirade against his fuzzy friend. yes, i am aware that this is eavesdropping. anyway, to my surprise, there is no audible sound coming from him...he is merely mouthing these words of rage. we reach the next stop, he puts the ball away...and descends from the bus.
yep. and i remain on the bus...confused.
ok, so yesterday i am on the bus again...and there is a teenage boy sitting a few seats behind me. there is nothing particularly unusual about this guy...except for the fact that he is listening to his CD player...and it is so loud that i can hear almost every word. i smiled to myself as i watched other people on the bus look at him with annoyance. i finally get off a few stops later and go about my day...8 hours later, i get back on and take a seat, ready to go home. and i hear it. the same music. the same volume...and i turn around...and lo, he is there. it's almost as if he never left. what are the chances.
or...as a student and i walked across campus to find a bench in the arboretum for our weekly chat, a male student with firery red hair begins leaping across the bricks in front of us...jumping onto benches, leaping off of them, rolling across the ground, diving into the grass...it was all very movie-stunt-man-ish. then he just stopped and began walking normally. we were amazingly confused...but amazingly entertained.
we finally find a little bench and begin to talk. a few minutes later, a young man walks past us...over to a spot under a tree. he bends down, fluffs up some leaves like a little pillow, sits indian-style and begins meditating, palms up and sitting as straight as a pin. he never moved. this is certainly not something you see everyday.
and finally, this morning started with a bang...or a cymbal crash. there is a lumberyard only a few feet behind my apartment. many mornings have begun with loud noises coming from this place filled with wood...and this morning, i was woken up by very loud hispanic music. i mean, it was LOUD. i realize that it must be coming from a truck that had come to pick up some lumber...i crawl out of bed, and open my window...i just stand there...blinking in the face of the light...and then i realize that a man is watching me. creepy. so i just look right back at him. it's like staring contest...and he walks over to the truck and shuts off the music. apparently i won. i smiled, closed the window and slipped back into bed for a few more minutes.
like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of my life...
for example...
i take the bus to campus most days. the bus is my favorite place to people-watch. sometimes i am listening to music. sometimes i enjoy the silence of it all. one day, i was sitting across from a man who looked OK. nothing odd or out of place. he had a backpack beside him and he was watching the moving scenery outside. all of a sudden, he pulls a tennis ball from out of his bag. he holds it gingerly in his hands...and begins to talk to it...nay, he begins to yell at this little yellow object. i am listening to music on this day, so i reach into my pocket and pause the noise in an effort to better hear this tirade against his fuzzy friend. yes, i am aware that this is eavesdropping. anyway, to my surprise, there is no audible sound coming from him...he is merely mouthing these words of rage. we reach the next stop, he puts the ball away...and descends from the bus.
yep. and i remain on the bus...confused.
ok, so yesterday i am on the bus again...and there is a teenage boy sitting a few seats behind me. there is nothing particularly unusual about this guy...except for the fact that he is listening to his CD player...and it is so loud that i can hear almost every word. i smiled to myself as i watched other people on the bus look at him with annoyance. i finally get off a few stops later and go about my day...8 hours later, i get back on and take a seat, ready to go home. and i hear it. the same music. the same volume...and i turn around...and lo, he is there. it's almost as if he never left. what are the chances.
or...as a student and i walked across campus to find a bench in the arboretum for our weekly chat, a male student with firery red hair begins leaping across the bricks in front of us...jumping onto benches, leaping off of them, rolling across the ground, diving into the grass...it was all very movie-stunt-man-ish. then he just stopped and began walking normally. we were amazingly confused...but amazingly entertained.
we finally find a little bench and begin to talk. a few minutes later, a young man walks past us...over to a spot under a tree. he bends down, fluffs up some leaves like a little pillow, sits indian-style and begins meditating, palms up and sitting as straight as a pin. he never moved. this is certainly not something you see everyday.
and finally, this morning started with a bang...or a cymbal crash. there is a lumberyard only a few feet behind my apartment. many mornings have begun with loud noises coming from this place filled with wood...and this morning, i was woken up by very loud hispanic music. i mean, it was LOUD. i realize that it must be coming from a truck that had come to pick up some lumber...i crawl out of bed, and open my window...i just stand there...blinking in the face of the light...and then i realize that a man is watching me. creepy. so i just look right back at him. it's like staring contest...and he walks over to the truck and shuts off the music. apparently i won. i smiled, closed the window and slipped back into bed for a few more minutes.
like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of my life...
Monday, February 19, 2007
we will never be the same.
i have a new favorite song. surprise, surprise.but seriously? this little ditty by the david crowder band (oh, the glory of it all) is pretty phenomenal. the lyrics are incredible...incredibly true. all i know is that it is speakin' my soul language these days.
check out the lyrics & the song here.
it can also be purchased on itunes - look for it on the second Passion 07 CD. it is highly recommended by moi.
oh, and the photo up top? i snapped that one on campus a few weeks ago. i discovered the tiny foam heart glued to the tree. i liked it. there you go.
in other news...
i have started an intensive study on the Book of Job this morning. i don't believe i have ever read Job beginning to end...let alone with a few study materials and Matthew Henry's concise Bible commentary.
phew.
i'm drawn to the book for personal reasons (i find myself in a small forest of wilderness these days)...but i am diving into this piece of wisdom literature on behalf of other Jobs in my life. i want to speak the Truth of God's goodness to those in my company who are questioning His goodness and presence in the midst of suffering and pain.
i stand upon His promises and i want to pull others onto that Rock of Truth with me...to stand firm and secure in His grace and love. this is not such an easy task. but if Job can come out praising God in the midst of intense personal anguish, surely we can persevere.
righteous sufferers must trust in, acknowledge, serve and submit to the omniscient and omnipotent Sovereign, realizing that some suffering is the result of the unseen, spiritual conflicts between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of Satan -- between the kingdom of light and the kindgom of darkness (Ephesians 6:10-18).
i'm ready to fight.
who's with me?
Monday, February 12, 2007
wobbly knees and heavenward faces.
the good news: emmaus07 (the name of our area's annual winter conference) was a success. over 150 interVarsity students from the eastern carolinas made their way to myrtle beach for a weekend focused on the Lord...the theme? media: through the lens of jesus. as is always the case with the Lord, i found that i walked away humbled, convicted and ready to change the way i think about my media consumption. it's amazing how, even when we as staff work so hard to produce something good, true and noble for our students, we end up receiving a gentle reminder that we needed the same tap on the shoulder from God.
so the weekend consisted of talks concerning how to thoughtfully engage with the media of our culture, when to "unplug" and listen to only the Lord's voice and how to find the "sweet spot" in the middle -- neither thoughtlessly consuming everything nor running away and isolating ourselves from our world. students participated in seminars, small groups, prayer sessions, open mic opportunities and (for our Carolina students) lunch while watching a little college basketball. [go Heels!]
my favorite moment of the weekend surprisingly had nothing to do with students or the content of the conference...i had a free moment to walk on the beach. i didn't realize how much i needed to see the ocean. i didn't know how much i needed to be reminded that i am small...that He is big...and that He is in control of everything. listening to the waves and crunching seashells under my feet while my face stayed turned towards the sun provided those comforting reminders.
and it hit me...
why is it so hard for us to remember the incredible Truths upon which we base our life? why do our knees get wobbly when our faith is tested? why is it so easy to forget all of the ways He has taken care of us up until this very moment? why do we believe that our blessings are going to run out...that there won't be enough grace for us...or that our worth or future is dependent upon this moment of "failure" or that...
so i came back from the weekend with quite a few thoughts running through my head...
and i am praying that i can give over those thought patterns that deny glory to God...
and that i can stop the "what if" game....that i can rest in the Promises He has spoken over my life...that i can remember His goodness and the proof of His presence...
You alone are Worthy...
so the weekend consisted of talks concerning how to thoughtfully engage with the media of our culture, when to "unplug" and listen to only the Lord's voice and how to find the "sweet spot" in the middle -- neither thoughtlessly consuming everything nor running away and isolating ourselves from our world. students participated in seminars, small groups, prayer sessions, open mic opportunities and (for our Carolina students) lunch while watching a little college basketball. [go Heels!]
my favorite moment of the weekend surprisingly had nothing to do with students or the content of the conference...i had a free moment to walk on the beach. i didn't realize how much i needed to see the ocean. i didn't know how much i needed to be reminded that i am small...that He is big...and that He is in control of everything. listening to the waves and crunching seashells under my feet while my face stayed turned towards the sun provided those comforting reminders.
and it hit me...
why is it so hard for us to remember the incredible Truths upon which we base our life? why do our knees get wobbly when our faith is tested? why is it so easy to forget all of the ways He has taken care of us up until this very moment? why do we believe that our blessings are going to run out...that there won't be enough grace for us...or that our worth or future is dependent upon this moment of "failure" or that...
so i came back from the weekend with quite a few thoughts running through my head...
and i am praying that i can give over those thought patterns that deny glory to God...
and that i can stop the "what if" game....that i can rest in the Promises He has spoken over my life...that i can remember His goodness and the proof of His presence...
You alone are Worthy...
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
and so it goes...
this weekend? in a word? fantastic.
sleeping in is a small gift from Heaven, me thinks...as is dinner at Four Eleven West with a terrific date...good movies...early-morning walks to the grocery store...baking savory goodies for Super Bowl consumption...and watching the Game with a few hysterical people who know how to make LD laugh...(laughing is my favorite).
overall...i am one satisfied consumer of the weekend, my friends.
sleeping in is a small gift from Heaven, me thinks...as is dinner at Four Eleven West with a terrific date...good movies...early-morning walks to the grocery store...baking savory goodies for Super Bowl consumption...and watching the Game with a few hysterical people who know how to make LD laugh...(laughing is my favorite).
overall...i am one satisfied consumer of the weekend, my friends.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
true.
i believe in the rest of the story
i believe there's still ink in the pen
i have wasted my very last day
trying to change what happened way back when...
i believe it's the human condition
we all need to have answers to why
more than ever, i'm ready to say that i
will still sleep peacefully
with answers out of reach for me until...
someday all that's crazy
all that's unexplained
will fall into place
and someday all that's hazy
through a clouded glass
will be clear at last
and sometimes we're just waiting
for someday...
we are born with a lingering hunger
we are born to be unsatisfied
we are strangers who can't help but wonder
and dream about the other side of...
someday all that's crazy
all that's unexplained
will fall into place
and someday all that's hazy
through a clouded glass
will be clear at last
and sometimes we're just waiting
for someday...
every puzzle's missing piece
every unsolved mystery
more than half of every whole
rests in the Hands that hold you for someday...
- nichole nordeman "someday"
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