The Voice.

i've been thinking quite a bit about the connection between mind-body-spirit. it's an amazing triad...much more complicated than i think i will ever understand. to think that our thoughts direct our physical responses or spiritual walk (or any other combination of the three) is truly a remarkable concept.

i grew up hearing that the mind is a powerful thing. perhaps this was because my brother and i had the awful tendency to internalize all of our stressors until they manifested themselves in our gastric system. basically we were two nervous kids who had trouble keeping the food down. have mercy on our souls around exam time or any other particularly stressful event.

we "grew out of it"...or maybe we just learned some good coping mechanisms. i would like to think we matured in our ability to handle stress. maybe we learned how to call a spade a spade...and move on. or is that avoidance?

truth be told, i think we both still face this struggle from time to time...no...wait...i KNOW we struggle with this powerful-mind gig on our gag reflexes.

i definitely believe that physical reactions to stress or anxiety are purposeful. it's the body's way of saying, "hey, dollface...wake up and deal with this issue before i implode."

so then how do i keep a tight grip on the mind and all of its thoughts and wanderings? how in the world do i stop the idle mind from becoming the proverbial devil's playground? how do i stop the "what ifs"...the "whys"...the predictions completely rooted in nothing solid or true?

i don't know about love...but i definitely think the mind is a battlefield.

and then there are the outside voices...how do i discern what is good and noble from that which just wants to confuse or question? where is God in all of that? i know He's there. i know He speaks through others. where is the line between unnecessary commentary and His word to His daughter?

i am learning what it means to seek His voice alone...the ONLY voice i really want to hear. i am learning to give Him control of my mind. i am learning to call out patterns of thought that stray away from His current plan for my life.

i don't know much...but what i do know is that i am learning the value of creating safe spaces in which to give in to this process. i am allowing myself the freedom to move through any number of emotions or physical reactions. i am confident that God is sowing these questions into my spiritual walk for a purpose...there is fruit to be harvested. i believe it.

so i wrestle. i think it's a good thing. i think it makes me that much stronger when i choose to stay in the battlefield. i think it prepares me for the Truth that is to come.

i think i just need some quiet. i want to be like elijah...i want to hear a whisper in the midst of mighty winds, earthquakes and fires...

and it’s just You and me here now
only You and me here now...