this little light of mine...

if i had to pick one word to describe today? intense.

part of the amazingness of my j-o-b as a campus staff worker is the incredible opportunity to engage in a retreat of prayer. i, along with my fellow staff workers from the region, retreated to durham for a few hours of reflection and a date with Him. this little escape from campus proved to be just what this spirit needed. i didn't realize how much i needed time with my Creator. i came face-to-face with my sin. i reached moments of intense clarity and closure. i fell before the Lord and accepted His grace in ways i have avoided over the past few weeks. i gave in to His love.

in the words of my good friend & songwriter, kristin (sandberg) moore, i was "captured and ruined" for Him today...

while walking the labyrinth on the grounds, God gave me the following...perhaps it still needs some "working out"...but for now, it's something this LD can meditate upon...

sunshine. i love strong sunshine on my face. i love the warmth. i love the way it feels on my skin. i love when it is so bright that i just have to close my eyes to take it all in. i crave this sunshine. i wait for moments like these.

but...

i hate letting others see sunshine on my face. i become insecure and fearful that all of my flaws, blemishes and imperfections will become painfully obvious. so i hide my face from the sun in the company of others. i cover my true self. i deny the sun the chance to warm my face or reflect its goodness, its brightness.

i let my sin, my self and the worries of this world keep me from fully enjoying the source of life. i turn my back, afraid of being exposed. i would rather face the shadows and the cold than let others see what i am really made of...how flawed i really am.

i forget that the sun is most glorified when it is shining on creation. while the sun can't help but to expose our flaws, it is also absolutely necessary for growth...for abundant life. the sun has a purpose. we cannot deny the light. it will always illuminate our lives. everyone is exposed. everyone must face the sun.