Saturday, April 12, 2008

baby bites of saltines.

i've been living in a lie the past month, or so. i am living as if i am not dealing with a chronic illness. i have been throwing caution to the wind and saying, "screw it...i'll be fine." i've been eating food items that i know will most likely cause some issues. and i've been OK...until now.

my lack of concern...my ignorance...my irresponsibility have all caught up with me.

God has gently tapped me on the shoulder and offered a soft "slow down."

so, as it is, i have spent the day curled up...drifting in and out of sleep...and stumbling upon fabulous articles in small magazines concerning God, healing and the process of dealing with a chronic illness.

good timing.

i believe, one way or the other, we are pushed to face that which we try so desperately to ignore. it may hide for a time...but God likes to bring it back...and only the way He can.

so i've been processing/thinking through what's been going on with me and GP the past couple of months. i've got some work to do. i don't have any profound, organized thoughts to share quite yet. my ministry is still in the works, i think.

in a moment of needing to revel in the idea that other people in the world understand all-things-gastroparesis, i wandered over to a website designed to bring all of us GP people together...the gastroparesis patient association for cures and treatments, inc.

in the midst of the sadness, i am incredibly thankful for people and their gift of humor. enjoy the following poem, written by two kindred spirits in the world of GP.

A GPers Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray for food my stomach to keep
If I should die before I wake
At least in heaven I can eat some steak

Or if I live for just one more day
Let my stomach behave so I can play
Remembering the times when things were good
When my stomach dumped downward the way it should

When I didn't have to worry what I ate
I could sit and enjoy a heaping plate
No pills to take so I can take sips
And not worry about what crosses my lips

Written by Monalisa (Idiopathic GP) and Rudy (Idiopathic GP), August 2001

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