quiet.

my spot. it's very quiet today - only a few fishermen and random couples stopping to stretch their legs and take in the james river. i am lying in the shade - not too hot or cold. it's perfect. today has been a good day. i swam again - after weeks of sheer laziness - and the second i plunged underwater, i thought "why did you stay away for so long?" i think my soul even took a deep breath. i forgot how much i missed the silence in the swish of the water.

i wanted to check out the new cafe in town - and the need to write my thank-you cards was the perfect excuse. it wasn't what i expected. someone rushed over to me as soon as i walked in the door to seat me...like a real restaurant and i knew i wasn't in my kind of coffee shop. i was given a menu. all i wanted was coffee - that's all i could afford and even that was $2.40...for one cup. i was surrounded by people in business suits talking about interest rates and equity loans - a language i don't understand. it's owned by an older european woman who came out from the kitchen and shook my hand. apparently she personally greets all of her customers. the art on the walls was definitely unique - not my taste - but i could appreciate the dedication to detail. all in all, it was too upscale for me and i felt somewhat out of place in my ripped jeans and flip flops.

my spot feels better. surrounded by weeds and large bugs that buzz every few seconds. down the hill on the beach, i hear a woman giggling and i wonder what amuses her. the coast guard helicopters are running through training exercises across the river and the clouds are getting bigger and bigger - my favorite indication of a pending thunderstorm. a man on a bike rides by - singing a love song. my own frank sinatra in spandex.

as i write this, i realize my need for moments like this. moments of silence - isolation from the rest of the world. in the fight or flight mode of life, i am running. i am retreating. maybe it's self-preservation. this little pillar of strength isn't so tall these days. that's ok.

so i run. to Him. because that's the only place i want to be...