bubbly.

so, my furry companion got a little (well, HUGE) trim a few weeks back. being the proud mama that i am, i have to show him off...even if i am a little horrified by how much the groomers shaved off. (check out the before-shot in a previous blog entry.)

[all photos taken by my lovely roommate, kim, when i happened to step out for a few minutes. click to enlarge.]

here goes:

he says that this is his best angle:

this is my all-time favorite. when i get that fabulous job i long for, this one will be framed and atop the desk:

so, sometimes i leave my room...and when i come back, this is what i find:
enjoy my pup. i do. even with the fleas.

laughing it up.

i have decided that the best way to fight the good fight is to do so with a grand sense of humor.

i have to laugh about my current state of affairs. it seems as though a hearty laugh and a strong prayer will be the only way i will be able to deal with my diagnosis.

these are the cards i have been dealt. i am learning to play (one day at a time). i am also learning to be appreciative that it isn't much worse than this. this i can handle.

in light of this revelation/resolution, i have decided to name my stomach. he will now be referred to as Seamus (shay-mus). yes, he's Irish. why? he has a bit of a flaring temper...and he has a great fondness for all-things-potato. somehow giving my stomach a name a) makes me laugh at the absurdity of it all and b) keeps me grounded.

i also laugh/dance when i hear kirk franklin's "stomp!" why? the good ol' line...

GP, are you wit me? oh yeah, we havin' church, we ain't going nowhere...

now, for those of you unfamiliar with kirk franklin and his posse, GP stands for God's People...otherwise known as the people that actually sing the gospel music he writes while he talks/raps over the beats. (don't get me wrong. i have some serious love for KF.)

anyway, in a lot of the literature i have found about gastroparesis, many people type GP instead of consistently spelling out the medical term.

so, yes...GP is wit me. and yes, i am still dancing/havin' church.

i also want to give an enormous shout-out of thanks to my friends and family who have rallied around me lately. i feel loved beyond words. suggestions of liquid/pureed food parties, trips to get smoothies, letters of incredible encouragement, emails containing grand statements of optimism have most certainly helped this LD feel better.

i am starting to feel normal again. praise Jesus. and as much as i do have those moments of sadness, the smiles are starting to overshadow the tears.

thank you. from the bottom of my ever-grateful heart.

i suppose it's official.

questions of science
science and progress
do not speak as loud as my heart...
[coldplay]

ok, friends.

i thought the easiest way to communicate what exactly has been happening with yours truly over the past few months would be on my beloved blog - available to the masses, however impersonal it may be. i apologize for my lack of personal, direct communication. i ask for your grace and forgiveness.

let me explain.

many of you know that i have been experiencing bouts of nausea and vomiting for a matter of months over this past year. after leaving staff with InterVarsity in april and moving back to virginia, i began the process of seeing a specialist to begin testing in an effort to figure out the root cause of my symptoms.

the past month has been particularly rough and my symptoms have gotten worse. i have been on an IV several times for dehydration associated with constant vomiting and even had the oh-so-fabulous pleasure of spending the night in the ER here in Richmond. (i *heart* MCV. really, i do.)

i was able to switch to a specialist here in Richmond and had an appointment last Friday. he ordered a new round of tests for me, which i endured this week at MCV.

he called on wednesday afternoon to give me my diagnosis.

i have a condition called gastroparesis (literally, paralysis of the stomach). i know. it's weird.

the basics: my stomach has stopped functioning, meaning that it no longer turns my food into digestible material...so it either sits in my stomach for an extraordinarily long amount of time until it is broken down by acid...or, it comes back up. lovely, isn't it. (sorry.)

for most people, there is no identifiable cause. there is also no cure.

about 8 million people have GP and they are starting to find better ways of treating this condition. it's good to know i am not alone. as God would have it, my best friend's mother also has GP and offered some incredible encouragement once she heard about my diagnosis.

i will begin taking medication to force stomach contractions...however, these medicines have nasty, neurological side effects. i am nervous about beginning these drugs.

i now also operate with a very long list of foods i simply cannot eat anymore (fresh fruits/vegetables, certain dairy products, whole grains, meat, etc.) - basically anything good for you - and for someone who loves a huge salad, this is hard news to swallow (haha! i gotta laugh about this...join me, won't you?)

for the next few months, i will live off of a liquid/puree diet to give my stomach a break from the havoc it has endured over the past few months. any suggestions on good, pureed food would be much appreciated.

so there it is. i wish i had happy, cheery news to share with you. i will admit that this is hard to deal with and i am in a state of mourning right about now. i know that this isn't the end of the world...and i know that i will have a plan of action to function normally again...and i know that God is still amazingly good through all of this...but i think i need a little bit of time to process what's going on. it's very strange to think that a major part of your body has simply stopped working.

i also believe that God is bigger than my stomach muscles...and He can heal this according to His will.

my son, pay attention to what i say;
listen closely to my words.

do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;

for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.

above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life. - proverbs 4: 20-23

again, i ask for your grace and forgiveness for being MIA for quite some time. i simply haven't felt well enough to make many calls or sit at the computer to write personal emails. i will try to be better about this over the next few weeks.

as for the job update: i am still not working and i had to cancel my interview with the local school system because i hadn't been discharged from the hospital yet on the day of my interview. they were very kind and said that i can reschedule whenever i feel better. i am hoping that that is relatively soon and that God will give me the strength to begin teaching in the fall.

in happy news, i do have a small, furry companion to keep me company through this. please see my last blog entry for a picture of my new BFF. he is wild. and i love him.

i will ask for prayer, if i may do so. i want to experience God's joy again. i want to function normally. i want the depression to cease and for happiness to reign again.

thank you for standing by me through this. i would love an email life update from each of you when/if you get the chance. know that i appreciate, value and love you dearly.

His,
Laura

new BFF.

please say hello to my newest little buddy. his name is charlie and i have adopted him after he wandered into a friend-of-a-friend's yard, looking for a home. what i know about him after 24 hours together: he loves to chew - especially on my flip-flops. he likes to prance when we go on walks (that's why his given nickname is prince charles). his favorite toy is a small, purple stuffed purse (good story). curling up and taking a nap together seems to be something he enjoys immensely.

notice the white poof that is my dog. that's because he lived life on the streets for a little while. no worries, though...this proud mama has already made an appointment to groom his lovely locks.

i *heart* him. a lot.